New Year Resolutions? Hell no.

I don’t believe in the typical New Year’s Resolutions but I do however believe in fresh starts. Second chances. Life changes.

I, amongst others, believe that 2009 was a supremely shitty year. Not many people I know had a good time of it. More people died that truly didn’t deserve to, society in general went further to hell, and if you didn’t lose your job you were almost certainly to have the threat of redundancy constantly hanging over you.

As mentioned earlier, I started going through a rough patch (not for the first time but has been definitely worse than it has before) and while I don’t blame the events of the year for getting like that (I happen to think that if depression is already present within close family, you will have a natural predisposition to succumb to it at some point), I do think I wasn’t able to deal with the events in question.

So after a few weeks of being medicated, I started to regain the ability to actually deal with the basic tasks in life. Things started looking up; I had money in my savings account for the first time in ten years and I could finally see the light at the end of my debt tunnel. The ‘stuck in a rut’ feeling about my job was still present, but wasn’t getting to me as much.

Then Christmas Eve came along…and so did the worst case of flu I think I have ever had. I tried to stay positive throughout and I’m glad I did, I can only guess how much harder it would have been if I had allowed myself to get down, seeing as how I couldn’t enjoy Christmas properly, I wasn’t going to see any of my family or friends, and for the second year in a row I would be too ill to go out on NYE. It was then I decided to make some permanent changes in my life.

The first change I would make would be to be more positive in general. It’s hard to know whether I was so negative about everything because I was depressed, or whether I was depressed because I was so negative about everything. I guess the two go hand in hand for me.

The second change was to be more financially savvy, to actually take control and not be so out-of-control when it comes to my spending. Sounds so simple. We’ll see.

The third change is to loose weight, something I started last year; had some reasonable success in losing two stone. Then my troubles began and I subsequently put a stone of it back on. Anyways, I’m not ‘dieting’. I’m ‘being healthy’…watching my calorie and fat intake, and restricting my alcohol and caffeine consumption. 4lbs off so far.

The forth change is to bring some new things into my life, make it more fulfilling.

The fifth change is to really think about what I like doing, and to embrace those things. I think between my laziness and the depression, I have missed out on so much over the years. I should make a list…

These are not resolutions you understand, because I am determined. Calling my life changes ‘New Years Resolutions’ would just be license for me to have given in already…I have and I won’t.

I may have to have the odd bitch on here every now and then, but then you had to have expected that.